


The fragmented pieces of my broken mind

by RainbowJeff



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Amity has gone slightly off her rocker, Amity sees visions of Luz, F/F, I keep killing off Luz, Insanity AU?, Luz died, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, someone tell me how to tag, still don't know how to tag, this is starting to become a problem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:14:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28587027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowJeff/pseuds/RainbowJeff
Summary: "There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other."– Douglas H. EverettOrAmity lives in a world where she still has Luz.
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 14
Kudos: 122





	The fragmented pieces of my broken mind

**Author's Note:**

> *poof* 
> 
> Can you hear that? It's the sound of my writers block disappearing long enough for me to write this ✨mess✨
> 
> Also also, listen to Aftermath by Caravan Palace while reading, I beg of you. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imCd-m32oAs&list=PL9oHLtRvaB8BgHwQMjOxckpIj7J2ulQXs&index=109

**Amity’s POV**

_ Good morning, corazón. _

It is a good morning, isn’t it?

The sun is shining bright through the blinds, birds are chirping melodies outside her window, joyous and light. Amity smiles, easy pleasure filling her veins when she looks at the woman sitting in an armchair across from her.

“Same to you too, Luz.”

She smiles back, and Amity’s heart grows one size bigger at the sight.

_ Did you sleep well? _

“Exceptionally.” 

Her back, for once, isn’t sore. She slept for a solid eight hours as well, also contributing to her good mood.

_ Are you going to do anything fun today? _

At that, Amity frowns. She remembers her obligations for the day, and the unfortunate company she expects later. Luz notices the disappearance of her smile, standing. The woman strides over to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

_ I didn’t mean to upset you, my love. _

Amity places her own hand over Luz’s.

“You didn’t, darling. It’s just… Willow is coming over later, and we both know how she feels about you.”

Instead of scowling, she just laughs, making Amity’s brows furrow together.

_ Oh, don’t let Willow put a damper in your spirits! You enjoy your day, and then worry about that witch later. _

She nods.

“It’s not that I don’t love Willow, I do, she just has this idea that I need… fixing.”

Amity’s expression falls further, and Luz picks up on it. The woman’s face softens, rubbing gentle circles on her back, a motion that instantly soothes her. She feels the tension in her shoulders momentarily drain away, thoughts of Willow all but forgotten for a blissful moment.

_ Nothing needs fixing that isn’t broken. And you, Amity, are not broken. _

She nods once more. 

“You always know what to say.”

Luz laughs again, and the sound fills the space with joy. Everything seems to brighten with the woman’s laughter, filling the dark cavern of Amity’s heart with sunshine.

_ Of course, mi amor. Now quit moping around and go to work! _

This time, she’s the one who lets out a chuckle.

~~~

_ She’s running to Willow’s place, tears streaming down her face, slipping on mud from the recent rain. The dirt path seems to stretch on forever, infinitely in the distance, but it could be because her vision keeps tunneling. Her feet ache, but the discomfort is nothing compared to the agony in her chest. _

_ Amity can’t stop the nightmares that keep plaguing her, images of Luz, the light of her life, eyes wide and mouth parted slightly as a dagger sticks out from her heart. She hears Belos, laughter echoing throughout the throne room as she holds Luz’s now limp form in her arms. _

_ She hears screaming, until she realizes that the sound is coming from her own lips. _

_ Somehow, Amity turns up in front of Willow’s house, tears streaming down her face as she knocks frantically on the door. A few seconds later, the witch opens it, pyjamas on and wearing a bewildered expression. _

_ Her throat is horse as she rasps out the words. _

_ “Please. I'm begging you. You have to get rid of the memories.” _

_ Willow’s face shifts into one of pity, and she hates it. _

_ “Amity… I-” _

_ She manages to choke out a few more words. _

_ “I can’t live like this. I can’t live without her.” _

_ Sighing, the raven haired witch pushes the door open wider, letting her in. Amity stutters out a quick ‘thank you’, through the tears. _

_ Bringing her upstairs, Willow sits Amity down, rifling through her drawers for a moment before pulling out the tweezers. The witch levels a stern look at her, but Amity stares right back. _

_ “Are you sure? This is very dangerous.” _

_ “There isn’t another option.” _

_ Willow stands next to her and carefully extracts the memory from her ear, before setting it down on the desk. Amity looks at the undeveloped memory with disgust. _

_ “Burn it.” _

_ “Amity…” _

_ “I said, burn it.” _

_ The raven haired witch draws a small spell circle, igniting the picture in blue flame. _

_ Slowly, she feels the scene that’s been haunting her for over a month fade, sharp edges that had been sawing at her softening and then dissolving altogether. An easy smile makes its way to Amity’s face, and she looks at the witch in front of her with slight confusion. _

_ “Why am I here again?” _

_ Willow stares at her with an indecipherable expression. Finally, she shakes her head. _

_ “Come on, let's get you home.” _

~~~

_ It’s not even a week later when she walks into her room, and finds Luz waiting for her, a beaming grin on her face. Amity drops her bags, running into the girl’s outstretched arms, burying her face in Luz’s shoulder. _

_ “You're back!” _

**_I am._ **

_ She racks her brain, trying to remember where the human went, but a fog fills the space where a memory should be. _

_ “I know this sounds silly, but I can’t quite remember where you’ve been. Remind me…?”  _

**_The human realm, corazón. I had to visit Mami. Remember?_ **

_ “Oh yes, I do now.” _

_ Amity tries to recall more details, but they evade her grasp. With a small huff, she only holds the girl closer to her. _

_ “Don’t leave me again.” _

**_I won’t, I swear._ **

_ For the first time in what feels like forever, she feels whole again. _

~~~

When Amity gets back from work, exhausted from the long, monotonous day, she finds Willow sitting in Luz’s arm chair. Her friend has her legs crossed, and an expectant look on her face.

Glancing over, she sees Luz smiling faintly, motioning her head towards the raven haired witch. Amity gets the gist.

“You’re in her chair.”

Willow purses her lips.

“... Right.”

Regardless, she stands, instead taking a seat at Amity’s desk. Grinning, the human plops down in the armchair, the action bringing a small smile to her face at the woman’s ridiculousness. She opts to remain standing by the door.

“So, how are you feeling today?”

The question is loaded, of course. She feels great, besides being tired, but that’s not the thing that Willow is attempting to get out of her.

“I can still see her, as always. Not quite sure why you can’t. Perhaps you should check your prescription.” 

The witch gives her a faint smile, adjusting the glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose.

“My eyesight is fine, Amity.”

Luz gives a chuckle, and Amity brings a finger to her lips. The woman mimes zipping her mouth shut, a teasing grin resting on her face. She feels a smile return to her own.

_ Her eyesight can’t be all that fine, with those thick lenses that she has. _

She laughs at the offhand comment, letting her eyes linger on Luz’s face, familiar warmth spreading through her body.

“Quiet, you terror.”

Willow glances to where she’s looking, but as usual, doesn’t focus in on the woman sitting in the armchair. 

The witch seems… tired. Perhaps tired of this same argument, round and round in circles until someone snaps. It’s an endless cycle, of Willow somehow not seeing what’s right in front of her eyes, of looking at her with that same  _ pity  _ that she hates. And she gets  _ angry,  _ because why can’t her friend understand that she’s perfectly fine?

Willow lets out a long exhale, letting the long pent up frustration release without words.

“Amity, this is getting ridiculous. You can’t keep living in your head forever.”

~~~

_ “Luz…” _

**_Yes?_ **

_ Amity is looking in the mirror now, combing her fingers through her ginger locks absentmindedly. Her hair is too long for her liking, growing well past her shoulders. The still mint green ends have split, leaving her hair looking raggedy.  _

_ She doesn’t remember the last time she had a hair cut. _

_ “Are you real?” _

_ The woman, now 20 summers and 19 winters old, approaches Amity from behind, wrapping strong arms around her waist. She can see Luz in the mirror, can see how her hair has grown longer too, hanging in her eyes when she doesn’t bother to slick it back. She can feel Luz’s body against hers, warm and comforting, can feel the woman’s breath on her neck. _

_ Still, sometimes… Amity doubts. _

**_Reality is what we can see._ **

**_Can you see me?_ **

_ She stares into Luz’s chocolate eyes, so deep and molten. She could drown in them, suffocate, and she wouldn’t care. _

_ “Yes.” _

**_Reality is also what we can feel._ **

**_Can you feel me?_ **

_ Amity leans back into her embrace, momentarily letting her eyes slide shut. She can feel Luz’s warmth, ever present and solid, giving her support. _

_ “Yes.”  _

**_Then I’m real._ **

_ ~~~ _

“Amity.”

Willow snaps her fingers, letting her frustration shine through.

Fangs bite into Amity’s tongue as she holds it, deciding to not let her irate words slip out.

“Sorry.” 

“Those ‘flashbacks’ keep happening more and more. When are you going to start listening to me?”

Luz frowns at the raven haired witch from her spot on the armchair. She mirrors the woman’s expression, staring pointedly at Willow, who just receives the glare with nothing more than a raise of an eyebrow.

“Ignoring your advice hasn’t killed me so far.”

“Hmm.” 

It’s quiet. For a moment, at least. 

“You really should see someone.”

“Willow, for the last time, I don’t need a shrink. I’m not crazy.”

Her friend stands up, running a hand through hair as she fixes Amity with an almost disappointed stare.

“I never said you were crazy. I said you were living in your head.”

“Same difference.” 

Willow is now walking around the room, pacing almost, eyes darting around trying to see what Amity so easily can. She watches as the witch’s eyes scan past Luz, over and over, until she can hardly stand it anymore.

“Will you please  _ sit down?” _

The raven haired witch slows her feet, stopping in front of Amity. She seems… sad. Sorrowful and regretful.

“I should’ve never done it, no matter how much you begged.”

Amity is silent.

“Luz is gone. She’s been gone for a long time.”

Ah, the inevitable snap. She feels it boiling beneath her skin, long pent up anger over Willow’s unwillingness to just  _ open her eyes.  _ Amity grits her teeth, but the fury and frustration eventually wins out, bubbling up and out of her mouth.

“Get out of my house.”

Willow does, leaving without a second word, only giving her a lingering look that she doesn’t have the energy to decipher. She feels her eyes shut tightly together, and she stays that way for a minute, letting her anger dissolve.

“Luz?”

_ I’m still here. Always and forever. _

Amity breathes a shaky sigh of relief, letting joy flow back into her bones at the sound of her love’s voice. Her own cracks as she answers the woman.

“Please, don’t leave me. I don’t want to be left alone.”

_ I swear to you, I won’t leave. Not today, not tomorrow, not decades from now. Despite what Willow says, our reality is what we want it to be. _

She wipes away a tear that has welled up in her eye.

“Good.”

**Author's Note:**

> *sighs*
> 
> I am apparently unable to write a fic that contains ZERO angst, aren't I?


End file.
